How One Clinician’s Journey on a Silent Mindfulness Retreat Impacted her Work in Eating Disorder Treatment

2014 was a trying year; through the turmoil, I felt the fast momentum of life and knew I could not stop it. I noticed my inability to handle personal struggles was impacting my work as a milieu therapist at Opal. Working closely with women wrestling with their eating disorders, I could see how my internal battle was leaving little room to support them.

I was stuck feeling disconnected from my entire being and knew I needed some deep healing. I kept dreaming about a 10-day Silent Vipassana Meditation Retreat, in which I had participated in once before.

Silence. Meditation. Space to be with myself.

meditation-techniques

(Image via karma-yoga.net)

 

Of course, the question that arose was, ‘Do I have 10 days to step out of my life?’ But it began to feel as though taking this retreat was essential to my survival. I distinctly remember how challenging and painful it was to simply be with myself, for what had felt like forever. ‘My life doesn’t need me right now,’ I thought. ‘I can spare the time. I need this—for me.’

Opal offers a reprieve to clients as part of their individualized program: clients are given time for meditation if it is desired and beneficial for them. Mindfulness is also practiced at the beginning of each meal as a way to pause from the work being done and support participation in the present moment while nourishing oneself. It also sets the stage for being intentional with whatever arises while eating. As well, meditation is used when groups become difficult and a pause is necessary to re-establish a foundation, so that work can continue. That’s what I needed from my own silent retreat: a pause. So I went.

Registration. Moving bags into residential quarters. Dinner. Orientation. Assignment of a spot in the Meditation Hall. Meditation. Retirement to bed. Those were the tasks at hand the evening before the retreat began. During this process, I noticed the tightness in my chest, the pain in my stomach, and the heaviness of my walk. I could not believe what I was doing, what I had chosen to put myself through. Sometimes it’s challenging to understand why we make the choices we do; and, only after the experience, are we able to grasp the value of those choices.

Each day of the retreat presented myriad experiences. We meditated ten hours a day, providing ample opportunity for us to witness whatever feelings, physical or emotional, showed up in the moment. Fatigue. Resistance. Letting go and surrendering. Impatience. Feeling accomplished. Not feeling good enough. Irritability. Anger. Joy. Sadness. Pain. Longing. Desire. Avoidance. Grief. Regret. Worry. Anticipation. Comparison.

According to the teachings, Vipassana literally means “experiencing one’s own reality by the systematic and dispassionate observation within oneself of the ever-changing mind-matter phenomenon manifesting itself as sensations.” In other words, Vipassana is a meditation practice, during which one experiences reality, as it is, in the moment, by witnessing life’s impermanence, through the arising and passing of bodily sensations. This is one of the reasons why mindfulness is essential to the recovery of eating disorders. Simply put, an eating disorder is a compilation of thoughts, feelings, stories, and behaviors designed to protect the individual from that which she feels threatened by. She becomes fragmented as a mechanism for survival and, in order to become whole again, she needs to strengthen her ability to observe when and why her eating disorder is in operation; then she must learn to allow her healthy self to take over the job. This is not an easy task, and can only be accomplished by mindfulness to what is showing up in the present moment.

Sitting in meditation so many hours each day offered many lessons. My body hurt in ways to which I was not accustomed; and practicing this technique proved to be difficult in those painful moments, which added up to most moments. The idea behind Vipassana is to intentionally scan the body, part-by-part, and observe the sensations with equanimity, with balance. In other words, one notices and observes without reacting or trying to change the sensations, because they will pass away. And they did! Not always, but often enough to see that they could.

The mind has a tendency to amplify discomfort, which I observed over and over again. The sensation was not terribly uncomfortable until my mind decided it was, and I could no longer tolerate what was once tolerable. Furthermore, I noticed my mind is quite a storyteller. When it wandered off into stories about the past and future, I observed and felt the bodily sensations created through this process: tightness in my chest, constriction in my heart, butterflies in my stomach, heaviness in my shoulders, stiffness in my neck. Wow, the mind is powerful! Of course, I had known that prior to this retreat, but this was my opportunity to experience to the fullest what that means.

The most beautiful aspect of this experience is that I actually achieved moments of equanimity. I was able to smile at the chaotic masterpiece of my mind. I felt excited at the end of each day for making it through, no matter what it looked like.

After ten days, I departed with an unfamiliar inner peace, but wondered about the sustainability of this feeling. In the following weeks, I have come to understand that one cannot walk away from a perspective-shifting experience, like a 10-day Silent Vipassana Meditation Retreat, expecting to maintain the fruit without continuing to practice; the work must continue. Mindfulness is just like any other muscle in our bodies: if we don’t use them, they will eventually atrophy. Mindfulness is no different. We need to continue to practice in order to remain present. On some days it works better than others and that is part of the practice, like recovering from an eating disorder. It is a process and a practice. Our job is to keep working at it, to strengthen our muscles.

– Michelle Forrest, LMHC, Milieu Therapist

 

Categories: BlogFood+Body

123 Comments

"oppna binance-konto · December 26, 2024 at 7:41 pm

Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.

binance h"anvisningsbonus · December 28, 2024 at 12:42 am

Thank you for your sharing. I am worried that I lack creative ideas. It is your article that makes me full of hope. Thank you. But, I have a question, can you help me?

binance · December 28, 2024 at 12:12 pm

Thank you for your sharing. I am worried that I lack creative ideas. It is your article that makes me full of hope. Thank you. But, I have a question, can you help me?

binance · January 2, 2025 at 10:42 am

Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.

binance · March 2, 2025 at 2:50 am

Thank you for your sharing. I am worried that I lack creative ideas. It is your article that makes me full of hope. Thank you. But, I have a question, can you help me?

Vytvorit osobn'y úcet · March 2, 2025 at 9:06 am

Your point of view caught my eye and was very interesting. Thanks. I have a question for you. https://www.binance.com/lv/register?ref=B4EPR6J0

Izveidot personīgo kontu · March 9, 2025 at 7:47 am

Can you be more specific about the content of your article? After reading it, I still have some doubts. Hope you can help me.

skapa binance-konto · April 12, 2025 at 3:29 pm

Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.

Your code of destiny · April 16, 2025 at 2:32 pm

I’m really impressed with your writing talents and also with the layout to your blog. Is this a paid topic or did you modify it yourself? Anyway stay up the nice quality writing, it’s uncommon to see a great blog like this one nowadays!

binance · May 5, 2025 at 11:51 am

Can you be more specific about the content of your article? After reading it, I still have some doubts. Hope you can help me.

abrir una cuenta en Binance · May 20, 2025 at 12:39 am

Your article helped me a lot, is there any more related content? Thanks!

Danieldiusy · May 28, 2025 at 8:34 am

https://biotpharm.com/# get antibiotics quickly

Curtisjep · May 29, 2025 at 7:22 am

Online drugstore Australia: pharmacy online australia – online pharmacy australia

RodneyMaync · May 29, 2025 at 8:15 am

Medications online Australia [url=https://pharmau24.shop/#]pharmacy online australia[/url] Online medication store Australia

Jameskix · May 29, 2025 at 8:39 am

Over the counter antibiotics pills: BiotPharm – cheapest antibiotics

Davidspunk · May 29, 2025 at 9:50 am

https://eropharmfast.com/# ed online treatment

Curtisjep · May 29, 2025 at 10:34 am

online pharmacy australia: Pharm Au24 – PharmAu24

RodneyMaync · May 29, 2025 at 10:56 am

Pharm Au 24 [url=https://pharmau24.com/#]online pharmacy australia[/url] Online drugstore Australia

Curtisjep · May 29, 2025 at 12:46 pm

online erectile dysfunction pills: Ero Pharm Fast – Ero Pharm Fast

RodneyMaync · May 29, 2025 at 1:20 pm

Ero Pharm Fast [url=https://eropharmfast.com/#]online ed medicine[/url] how to get ed pills

Davidspunk · May 29, 2025 at 2:44 pm

http://eropharmfast.com/# Ero Pharm Fast

Curtisjep · May 29, 2025 at 2:50 pm

Licensed online pharmacy AU: Licensed online pharmacy AU – Discount pharmacy Australia

RodneyMaync · May 29, 2025 at 3:39 pm

Ero Pharm Fast [url=https://eropharmfast.shop/#]Ero Pharm Fast[/url] Ero Pharm Fast

Curtisjep · May 29, 2025 at 5:06 pm

buy antibiotics: BiotPharm – buy antibiotics online

RodneyMaync · May 29, 2025 at 5:58 pm

Pharm Au 24 [url=https://pharmau24.com/#]Online drugstore Australia[/url] PharmAu24

Curtisjep · May 29, 2025 at 7:24 pm

buy ed medication: Ero Pharm Fast – ed meds on line

Davidspunk · May 29, 2025 at 7:38 pm

https://eropharmfast.shop/# Ero Pharm Fast

RodneyMaync · May 29, 2025 at 8:16 pm

Buy medicine online Australia [url=https://pharmau24.shop/#]Buy medicine online Australia[/url] pharmacy online australia

Inscreva-se · May 29, 2025 at 8:42 pm

I don’t think the title of your article matches the content lol. Just kidding, mainly because I had some doubts after reading the article. https://www.binance.com/de-CH/register?ref=UM6SMJM3

Curtisjep · May 29, 2025 at 9:38 pm

discount ed meds: Ero Pharm Fast – Ero Pharm Fast

RodneyMaync · May 29, 2025 at 10:33 pm

Pharm Au24 [url=http://pharmau24.com/#]Discount pharmacy Australia[/url] PharmAu24

Curtisjep · May 29, 2025 at 11:55 pm

buy antibiotics over the counter: buy antibiotics online uk – over the counter antibiotics

Davidspunk · May 30, 2025 at 12:28 am

http://pharmau24.com/# Medications online Australia

RodneyMaync · May 30, 2025 at 12:51 am

Online drugstore Australia [url=https://pharmau24.shop/#]Discount pharmacy Australia[/url] online pharmacy australia

Curtisjep · May 30, 2025 at 2:16 am

get antibiotics quickly: buy antibiotics online uk – get antibiotics quickly

Edwardemusa · May 30, 2025 at 4:14 am

pharmacie en ligne fiable: achat kamagra – п»їpharmacie en ligne france

Eugenearoth · May 30, 2025 at 4:36 am

Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher [url=https://ciasansordonnance.shop/#]acheter Cialis sans ordonnance[/url] Acheter Cialis

MatthewKEf · May 30, 2025 at 5:00 am

pharmacie en ligne france livraison internationale: Pharmacies en ligne certifiées – Achat médicament en ligne fiable

IssacNeoge · May 30, 2025 at 6:00 am

pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance: pharmacie internet fiable France – Achat mГ©dicament en ligne fiable

JesusHoike · May 30, 2025 at 6:40 am

https://pharmsansordonnance.shop/# pharmacie en ligne fiable

Eugenearoth · May 30, 2025 at 7:23 am

cialis generique [url=http://ciasansordonnance.com/#]acheter Cialis sans ordonnance[/url] traitement ED discret en ligne

MatthewKEf · May 30, 2025 at 7:26 am

Kamagra oral jelly pas cher: kamagra en ligne – kamagra livraison 24h

Edwardemusa · May 30, 2025 at 7:35 am

kamagra oral jelly: kamagra gel – commander Kamagra en ligne

IssacNeoge · May 30, 2025 at 8:27 am

Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher: cialis sans ordonnance – cialis prix

MatthewKEf · May 30, 2025 at 9:56 am

kamagra livraison 24h: kamagra pas cher – commander Kamagra en ligne

Eugenearoth · May 30, 2025 at 10:13 am

viagra en ligne [url=https://viasansordonnance.shop/#]acheter Viagra sans ordonnance[/url] acheter Viagra sans ordonnance

Edwardemusa · May 30, 2025 at 10:56 am

kamagra gel: kamagra gel – kamagra livraison 24h

IssacNeoge · May 30, 2025 at 11:01 am

Medicaments en ligne livres en 24h: Pharmacies en ligne certifiees – Pharmacie Internationale en ligne

JesusHoike · May 30, 2025 at 11:45 am

http://viasansordonnance.com/# prix bas Viagra generique

MatthewKEf · May 30, 2025 at 12:28 pm

Cialis pas cher livraison rapide: Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher – cialis generique

Eugenearoth · May 30, 2025 at 1:04 pm

Medicaments en ligne livres en 24h [url=https://pharmsansordonnance.shop/#]pharmacie en ligne[/url] trouver un mГ©dicament en pharmacie

IssacNeoge · May 30, 2025 at 1:33 pm

pharmacie en ligne pas cher: pharmacie internet fiable France – pharmacie en ligne pas cher

Edwardemusa · May 30, 2025 at 2:17 pm

Viagra sans ordonnance livraison 24h: Quand une femme prend du Viagra homme – livraison rapide Viagra en France

MatthewKEf · May 30, 2025 at 2:53 pm

viagra sans ordonnance: viagra en ligne – Meilleur Viagra sans ordonnance 24h

Eugenearoth · May 30, 2025 at 3:51 pm

achat kamagra [url=http://kampascher.com/#]pharmacie en ligne france livraison belgique[/url] kamagra oral jelly

IssacNeoge · May 30, 2025 at 4:01 pm

acheter Cialis sans ordonnance: cialis sans ordonnance – cialis sans ordonnance

JesusHoike · May 30, 2025 at 4:50 pm

https://pharmsansordonnance.shop/# vente de mГ©dicament en ligne

MatthewKEf · May 30, 2025 at 5:20 pm

Viagra générique en pharmacie: viagra sans ordonnance – acheter Viagra sans ordonnance

Edwardemusa · May 30, 2025 at 5:41 pm

acheter Cialis sans ordonnance: Acheter Cialis – Cialis pas cher livraison rapide

IssacNeoge · May 30, 2025 at 6:30 pm

kamagra gel: kamagra 100mg prix – achat kamagra

Eugenearoth · May 30, 2025 at 6:39 pm

pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance [url=http://pharmsansordonnance.com/#]pharmacie en ligne sans prescription[/url] vente de mГ©dicament en ligne

MatthewKEf · May 30, 2025 at 7:48 pm

kamagra pas cher: kamagra pas cher – kamagra pas cher

IssacNeoge · May 30, 2025 at 9:01 pm

commander sans consultation medicale: Medicaments en ligne livres en 24h – pharmacie en ligne france livraison belgique

Edwardemusa · May 30, 2025 at 9:11 pm

Acheter Cialis: Cialis sans ordonnance 24h – Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher

Eugenearoth · May 30, 2025 at 9:27 pm

Viagra sans ordonnance 24h [url=http://viasansordonnance.com/#]Meilleur Viagra sans ordonnance 24h[/url] commander Viagra discretement

JesusHoike · May 30, 2025 at 9:52 pm

https://viasansordonnance.shop/# Viagra generique en pharmacie

MatthewKEf · May 30, 2025 at 10:15 pm

Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher: commander Cialis en ligne sans prescription – cialis sans ordonnance

IssacNeoge · May 30, 2025 at 11:26 pm

viagra sans ordonnance: viagra sans ordonnance – commander Viagra discretement

Eugenearoth · May 31, 2025 at 12:12 am

cialis prix [url=https://ciasansordonnance.shop/#]Cialis sans ordonnance 24h[/url] cialis sans ordonnance

MatthewKEf · May 31, 2025 at 12:40 am

Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher: Acheter Cialis – Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher

Edwardemusa · May 31, 2025 at 12:47 am

commander Cialis en ligne sans prescription: Cialis sans ordonnance 24h – cialis sans ordonnance

IssacNeoge · May 31, 2025 at 1:53 am

pharmacie en ligne pas cher: commander sans consultation medicale – pharmacie en ligne france livraison internationale

JesusHoike · May 31, 2025 at 2:52 am

https://kampascher.com/# kamagra en ligne

Eugenearoth · May 31, 2025 at 2:55 am

Kamagra oral jelly pas cher [url=https://kampascher.com/#]kamagra oral jelly[/url] kamagra 100mg prix

MatthewKEf · May 31, 2025 at 3:04 am

cialis sans ordonnance: cialis sans ordonnance – Cialis générique sans ordonnance

IssacNeoge · May 31, 2025 at 4:20 am

pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance: Pharmacies en ligne certifiees – pharmacie en ligne france fiable

Edwardemusa · May 31, 2025 at 4:22 am

acheter Kamagra sans ordonnance: pharmacie en ligne livraison europe – commander Kamagra en ligne

MatthewKEf · May 31, 2025 at 5:34 am

pharmacie en ligne pas cher: pharmacie en ligne sans prescription – vente de médicament en ligne

Eugenearoth · May 31, 2025 at 5:44 am

Medicaments en ligne livres en 24h [url=https://pharmsansordonnance.shop/#]pharmacie en ligne sans prescription[/url] pharmacie en ligne livraison europe

IssacNeoge · May 31, 2025 at 6:54 am

commander Viagra discretement: commander Viagra discretement – acheter Viagra sans ordonnance

JesusHoike · May 31, 2025 at 7:58 am

https://viasansordonnance.com/# Meilleur Viagra sans ordonnance 24h

Edwardemusa · May 31, 2025 at 8:01 am

prix bas Viagra generique: livraison rapide Viagra en France – acheter Viagra sans ordonnance

MatthewKEf · May 31, 2025 at 8:07 am

pharmacie en ligne: Achat médicament en ligne fiable – pharmacie en ligne

Eugenearoth · May 31, 2025 at 8:40 am

Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher [url=https://ciasansordonnance.shop/#]pharmacie en ligne france pas cher[/url] pharmacie en ligne

IssacNeoge · May 31, 2025 at 10:32 am

Acheter Cialis: cialis generique – cialis generique

Edwardemusa · May 31, 2025 at 11:42 am

Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher: Cialis generique sans ordonnance – traitement ED discret en ligne

Eugenearoth · May 31, 2025 at 12:19 pm

Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher [url=https://ciasansordonnance.shop/#]Acheter Cialis[/url] Cialis sans ordonnance 24h

IssacNeoge · May 31, 2025 at 2:05 pm

pharmacie en ligne pas cher: Pharmacie sans ordonnance – pharmacie en ligne france pas cher

Edwardemusa · May 31, 2025 at 3:28 pm

Kamagra oral jelly pas cher: acheter kamagra site fiable – acheter kamagra site fiable

JesusHoike · May 31, 2025 at 3:44 pm

https://kampascher.com/# achat kamagra

Eugenearoth · May 31, 2025 at 4:06 pm

pharmacie en ligne france livraison belgique [url=http://ciasansordonnance.com/#]traitement ED discret en ligne[/url] Cialis generique sans ordonnance

Jamesgor · May 31, 2025 at 4:37 pm

kamagra 100mg prix: pharmacie en ligne france livraison internationale – kamagra livraison 24h

IssacNeoge · May 31, 2025 at 5:36 pm

kamagra pas cher: kamagra oral jelly – kamagra livraison 24h

Edwardemusa · May 31, 2025 at 7:11 pm

pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance: cialis generique – Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher

Eugenearoth · May 31, 2025 at 7:46 pm

Medicaments en ligne livres en 24h [url=http://pharmsansordonnance.com/#]pharmacie en ligne pas cher[/url] pharmacie en ligne fiable

IssacNeoge · May 31, 2025 at 9:07 pm

viagra sans ordonnance: Viagra homme sans ordonnance belgique – Viagra sans ordonnance 24h

Edwardemusa · May 31, 2025 at 10:41 pm

Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher: Cialis generique sans ordonnance – cialis generique

Eugenearoth · May 31, 2025 at 11:11 pm

pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance [url=https://pharmsansordonnance.com/#]acheter medicaments sans ordonnance[/url] pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance

JesusHoike · May 31, 2025 at 11:39 pm

https://ciasansordonnance.shop/# Cialis pas cher livraison rapide

IssacNeoge · June 1, 2025 at 12:17 am

commander Kamagra en ligne: kamagra pas cher – kamagra 100mg prix

Edwardemusa · June 1, 2025 at 2:01 am

livraison discrete Kamagra: commander Kamagra en ligne – kamagra 100mg prix

Eugenearoth · June 1, 2025 at 2:28 am

acheter mГ©dicament en ligne sans ordonnance [url=https://pharmsansordonnance.shop/#]Pharmacies en ligne certifiees[/url] п»їpharmacie en ligne france

IssacNeoge · June 1, 2025 at 3:27 am

pharmacies en ligne certifiГ©es: kamagra gel – kamagra 100mg prix

Edwardemusa · June 1, 2025 at 5:30 am

Medicaments en ligne livres en 24h: pharmacie en ligne – vente de mГ©dicament en ligne

Eugenearoth · June 1, 2025 at 5:58 am

Viagra generique en pharmacie [url=https://viasansordonnance.shop/#]Acheter du Viagra sans ordonnance[/url] prix bas Viagra generique

IssacNeoge · June 1, 2025 at 6:44 am

prix bas Viagra generique: Viagra generique en pharmacie – Viagra generique en pharmacie

JesusHoike · June 1, 2025 at 7:25 am

http://kampascher.com/# kamagra pas cher

Eugenearoth · June 1, 2025 at 8:51 am

kamagra livraison 24h [url=https://kampascher.com/#]livraison discrete Kamagra[/url] kamagra pas cher

IssacNeoge · June 1, 2025 at 9:31 am

pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance: pharmacie en ligne pas cher – pharmacie en ligne france livraison internationale

Eugenearoth · June 1, 2025 at 11:43 am

kamagra 100mg prix [url=https://kampascher.shop/#]kamagra en ligne[/url] acheter Kamagra sans ordonnance

IssacNeoge · June 1, 2025 at 12:15 pm

Viagra generique en pharmacie: Viagra generique en pharmacie – commander Viagra discretement

Eugenearoth · June 1, 2025 at 2:34 pm

Medicaments en ligne livres en 24h [url=https://pharmsansordonnance.com/#]pharmacie en ligne sans prescription[/url] pharmacie en ligne pas cher

IssacNeoge · June 1, 2025 at 2:55 pm

pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance: commander sans consultation medicale – Achat mГ©dicament en ligne fiable

JesusHoike · June 1, 2025 at 3:25 pm

http://kampascher.com/# kamagra 100mg prix

IssacNeoge · June 1, 2025 at 5:24 pm

Cialis pas cher livraison rapide: cialis generique – cialis sans ordonnance

Eugenearoth · June 1, 2025 at 6:02 pm

Cialis sans ordonnance 24h [url=https://ciasansordonnance.shop/#]Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher[/url] traitement ED discret en ligne

IssacNeoge · June 1, 2025 at 8:08 pm

cialis sans ordonnance: cialis sans ordonnance – cialis sans ordonnance

Eugenearoth · June 1, 2025 at 8:50 pm

pharmacie en ligne livraison europe [url=http://pharmsansordonnance.com/#]acheter medicaments sans ordonnance[/url] Pharmacie Internationale en ligne

IssacNeoge · June 1, 2025 at 10:47 pm

cialis prix: pharmacie en ligne france livraison belgique – commander Cialis en ligne sans prescription

JesusHoike · June 1, 2025 at 11:12 pm

http://viasansordonnance.com/# prix bas Viagra generique

Eugenearoth · June 1, 2025 at 11:31 pm

pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance [url=https://pharmsansordonnance.shop/#]pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance[/url] Pharmacie sans ordonnance

IssacNeoge · June 2, 2025 at 1:26 am

kamagra 100mg prix: Kamagra oral jelly pas cher – kamagra oral jelly

Eugenearoth · June 2, 2025 at 2:18 am

pharmacie en ligne [url=http://pharmsansordonnance.com/#]pharmacie internet fiable France[/url] п»їpharmacie en ligne france

Leave a Reply

Avatar placeholder

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *