The Appetite Episode 93: Guided Meal Support: How to Eat While Sheltering-in-Place
How has the global pandemic impacted your relationship to food? As restaurants close, grocery shelves are emptied, and anxiety levels go up, you deserve compassion when it comes to the way your body is responding to this global pandemic. For those struggling with disordered eating or eating disorder recovery, we’re here to help with guided meal support. Julie Church, RDN, CEDRD-S, CD—Opal: Food + Body Wisdom’s Co-Founder and Nutrition Director—sits down with host Carter Umhau, LMHC to walk listeners through the fundamentals of full permission of food and attuned eating in action! She’ll talk through the stages of selecting food to eat, setting the stage for eating, attuning to hunger and fullness cues, and how to move on from food after you’re done with a meal! If you’re ready for some food, grab a plate and start listening! This episode can be a companion to your mealtime or an inspiration for later to eat with structure, mindfulness, and pleasure in mind.
Links:
Marc David’s eater’s agreement:
Connect with Opal:
Facebook: https://www.
Instagram: @opalfoodandbody
Twitter: https://twitter.com/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.
Thank you to our team…
Editing by Hans Anderson
Music by Aaron Davidson: https://soundcloud.
Daniel Guenther at Jack Straw Cultural Center: http://www.jackstraw.
Host and Producer Carter Umhau: www.carterumhau.com
Transcription by Rev.com
Carter Umhau (00:06):
Hello and welcome to the Appetite, a podcast brought to you by Opal Food and Body Wisdom in the Eating Disorder treatment Center in Seattle, Washington. I’m your host, Carter Umhow, a therapist, artist and writer. Today I’m talking with Opal, co-founder and nutrition director Julie Church. During this time of the COVID-19 pandemic, there are so many lost resources for those struggling with disordered eating. And this is also a time of course, as we all shake up our entire routines suddenly have no routine, are feeling a lot of anxiety, emotion, distress, et cetera, that our relationship to food and to our bodies may feel at quite a point of challenge. So today we’re going to be walking you through an experience of meal support. So Julie, I just want to first of all say hello. Hi. Hi. We are talking from different parts of Seattle. Right now I’m at home and you are in your office at Opal, right? Correct. The
Julie Church (01:10):
First time I’m recording a podcast from outside of the studio.
Carter Umhau (01:14):
So what we’re going to be offering today mirrors some of what happens at Opal on a daily basis during meals. Is that right?
Julie Church (01:22):
Yeah. I hope that that’s what we can do is just offer somebody a bit of a simulated meal support so that people can feel like there’s somewhere to turn and maybe they’ll use this podcast three times a day at every meal or maybe just one time as just an exercise. But that’s what I hope that we create in this time.
Carter Umhau (01:46):
How should we get started?
Julie Church (01:49):
Well, I am ready to dive in. Are you ready to dive in? Yes, I’m okay. Great. Okay. So just for the listener, I guess I want to know that I’m going to be talking a lot directly to you, maybe in a little bit of a different way than we have in a lot other podcasts, more conversational, but I just want for you as a listener to just use this however, you may, and I very much recognize that we are all in so many different places in our food relationship, and so I’m going to try to capture some of you in this simulated meal support, but we’d love feedback afterwards if you want a different position on this. But just know that we are very aware that there are different places you’re all coming from, and I hope that many of you can get something from this simulated meal support.
(02:39):
So the first place we need to start is recognizing that it’s time to eat. And for some of us that might mean that it’s a scheduled thing, so we know that, okay, it’s time to eat this meal or this snack because this is the plan that I know is best for my recovery. And for others of you, you might have that internal appetite queuing that’s telling you it’s time to eat. So whichever category you’re in, please take a moment and kind of connect with what is it that my body or my meal plan is saying that I need to get to eat? So what kinds of food, what color, how much, maybe what categories? I like to think about food descriptors too in this. So you might think about the texture and the flavor and the color and the temperature and think, what is it that I want in those of you that are on a meal plan or have more of a guided plan right now, sometimes I know that that can feel confining or restricting, and so hopefully some of those food descriptors can expand because gosh, there’s a lot of different varieties of things that can fit into the categories that your meal plan is.
(03:53):
And for those of you that are connecting more to your body to connect to those sensations, the smell and the taste, and think through what your body really wants and needs right now,
Carter Umhau (04:05):
I also want to jump in and add that during the time where most of the country is sheltering in place or a lot of the country’s sheltering in place, but certainly everybody’s beginning to practice social distancing and grocery stores are sometimes not well stocked. Choosing what to eat might feel a little bit different right now, there might be some different items in your cabinets or your refrigerator. There might be some items that feel absent that could feel a bit disorienting right now to not have some of those regular safe foods. And so I know that for me, as I am trying really hard to not go to the grocery store too regularly, I have to sort of spend a little bit of time sometimes in front of the refrigerator or in front of the cabinets, really sort of naming out loud like, oh, okay, I have got this kind of bean, or I’ve got this sort of protein, and sort of just list through the categories of proteins and grain options and fruits and vegetables and bats and just kind of think through the whole realm of options. And that could be something that feels really freeing to you to think through. It also could be anxiety producing to notice all the different things. But I would just say that could be a good starting point to get that list going, to remind yourself of the things that you do have and not the things that you don’t have.
Julie Church (05:30):
That’s so great. Thank you, Carter, for bringing that. We are in that current moment right now, aren’t we? Absolutely. Yeah.
Carter Umhau (05:38):
Yeah. So Julie, I want to hear a little bit about how you would suggest thinking about what foods to choose based off of understanding hunger and fullness cues at the onset of this
Julie Church (05:50):
Experience. For those of you that are in the practice of listening to your body and honoring that in your food relationship, if that’s where you are, I think the sort of tips or thoughts on that is recognize that hunger is something that people experience throughout their body and emotions and thoughts. And so make sure that you’re looking at all those aspects of yourself. So don’t just focus on your stomach, which is what people usually do around hunger. But notice if you’re starting to have some lack of attention, focus or notice if you’re having different salivation in your mouth or notice if your legs or limbs or extremities or doing different things than feeling differently than normal. And maybe your thoughts about food also is a pretty key component to hunger is when one starts to think about food, that might mean that they’re also hungry.
Carter Umhau (06:47):
I would also add to that that pleasure gets to be a part of your choice right now. And also, of course, we have the awareness right now that there is some feeling around food scarcity and some preferences not being available. So again, note the things that maybe you feel most desirous of and the things that also would fit the categories of maybe bringing a little bit of balance to your day too.
Julie Church (07:17):
Okay. And one invitation I have for you as listeners is to pause this when you need to do the thing that I’m saying to do. So I would envision that a pause is needed right now. Okay, now pause. And then you’re going to be able to figure out what it’s that you’re wanting to get. And then when you come back, you’ve maybe made that decision as to what it is and just make sure to go and get it. So go and put that food in a bowl or a plate or on a tray or however it is that you’re, grab the package, whatever it is, and get that food for you. And then find a place that you’re going to eat it, whatever that might be. And I would like for you in this moment to be mindful of where you are taking this food and where you’re choosing to eat it.
(08:05):
For those of you that have been in the home for a long time, long time, you might be in some routines and rituals around where you’re eating the food. And I guess I just want for you to pause and ask yourself, is this where I want to eat right now? And look around, is this the surface? Is this the view that I want? Is this the seat chair, bench, whatever that I want? And just try to open up your mind to think if you want to create a different environment for you for this particular meal or snack.
Carter Umhau (08:39):
And what kind of considerations would you be thinking of that for yourself? Julie?
Julie Church (08:45):
I think the invitation there is just to give yourself a place of, I would say aesthetically, a place that you can relax. So I think just that our nervous system, we want to be able to relax as we eat. Eating is something that can cause anxiety for some, and does physiologically also lead to relaxation at a biochemical level? So I guess I want for us to know that our environment matters too, and maybe just recognize what is this environment set up to also allow for me to eat with some ease, some calm, some peace, some centeredness, mindfulness, attunement, or are there all sorts of things that are around me? And I think one thing that I would say, and this comes from Ellen Satter and my training under her at times was just that for some though, that does mean the TV’s on still. And for some that does mean it’s still going to be, I don’t know, a TV tray on the couch.
(09:42):
And I just want you to know that that’s okay too. Do not put this in some box of a Crate and barrel ad or something. I’m not trying to create that. I think just check in for yourself right now and decide where it’s that you want to eat this food. Okay, so if now the food and you are in the place ready to eat, I want to invite you to pause and kind of similarly to what you did environmentally to sort of set yourself up to have this be the right place to eat. Allow for there to be a little bit of a moment to go within your own self to take some breaths, to find your feet on the ground, to be able to allow for this to have some intention. When I’m offering meal support, one of the things is that I am definitely communicating to the person I’m eating with that we’re eating, you have permission to eat, this is time to eat. This is responsible, loving action. And I guess I want for you to also just rest into that in this moment and have a little bit
Carter Umhau (10:56):
Of a pause. I want to add too that this pause could be something like Julie said, that is a moment where you can go a bit more internal, but if the internal experience is the thing that you’re trying to get away from right now, I know that sometimes what can be equally as effective as sort of a mindfulness of our breath or our grounded feet could be sort of a mindfulness around our external environment. So again, if there’s a corner of your home that is soothing to you, maybe take a moment to just sort of look around at that corner, notice the different items that are there, the different colors, textures, bringing your awareness to these sensory bits of information that are available. You might also want to look out a window and notice the sky. Notice what kind of weather’s there again, what kind of colors sounds even that you could hear from your external environment and let that be a place of permission to maybe move a little bit away from the anxiety that’s present or any kind of rumination that is there.
Julie Church (12:06):
Yeah, I think I’m just reminded as we guide through, it’s just like we don’t know all what you’re all feeling and thinking and hope you can take something from this wherever you’re okay. So now it’s time to eat. So open up that package or pick up that fork or take that sip or combine those foods, mix ’em around, get that first bite. I’m reminded of Mark David and his eater’s agreement. So he’s somebody who has done a lot around eating psychology and his eater’s agreement is this statement to say, I’m an eater and I’m going to participate in life and eat. And so I would just encourage you to join all of humanity across this globe in this way that we all are in this pandemic and choose to eat.
Carter Umhau (12:58):
I would say once you get that first bite of food, let yourself again, just notice the different textures, the different flavors, and what it feels like to be eating this food in this moment in terms of the sensory experience of it. Again, letting yourself pay attention to which thing on your plate is the thing that you want to eat next, or what that next bite is going to be or what the flavor currently is in your mouth. Just let your attention be there. This is also an okay time to chat with whoever you are with, if there’s someone around or just look out the window and do whatever you need to do to just be in the present moment. Hypervigilance around every single bite is not needed. Sometimes that can be consuming, for lack of a better word. So you can just kind of check in with yourself around which tactic would be best for you to distract a little bit and just kind of be in the moment around your environment or if really being attuned to the food itself in this moment would be most helpful.
Julie Church (14:00):
Yeah.
Carter Umhau (14:01):
Julie, what would you say around listening to the beginning of fullness cues or appetite cues as we start eating?
Julie Church (14:11):
My encouragement would be that there are moments of checking in and moments of not, and I think that’s kind of what Carter was just saying, is you don’t have to be so hypervigilant and connected to every bite and checking in every moment, but rather that there would be some eating and then there would be some checking in. And if we were in a group setting and we were sort of eating, there would be a pause in the middle of the meal, be like, okay, how are people doing? Anyone want to share where they are in terms of their fullness or their appetite, their hunger, their interest in food? And in that, I know the things that folks would share would be physical sensations in their body, so changes in how their stomach, internal stomach might be feeling about the food, their taste buds in their mouth, and different salivation methods and things like that that are happening and changes and how that’s feeling. And even just general pacing of oftentimes when we’re hungrier, we might eat a little faster, but then as we’ll be more satiated, then we find ourselves maybe slowing down or even just the interest in the food can diminish. So some things to be paying attention physically and also in our thoughts and beyond
Carter Umhau (15:20):
With that, how would you think about when to stop eating?
Julie Church (15:25):
So I feel like we’re in this bind of who are you as the listener and where are you when I say that or who I’m speaking to? But I think the recognition is that there’s no wrong way to eat. So many people can get perfectionistic around this appetite queuing or attunement work. And so what I want just for our listeners to know is that this time doing this practice with us, you might find yourself pushing yourself to truly get to fullness. And for others you might be pushing yourself to feel even a little bit overly full. And for others it might mean that your goal is that you need to finish the food on your plate because this is your meal plan right now. So I recognize that variety of it. So there’s no wrong way, and each experience we have is a learning opportunity to kind of go, that’s maybe what and a lot of fullness honestly, is you make a decision in the moment about what you think your fullness is, and then over the course of the next half an hour to few hours, you actually get to understand better what your actual fullness was at that moment.
(16:28):
Because we don’t know really, we can assess it and think it and act beyond, okay, I think I’ve done, but you might not have done the right assessment. So I guess I just want to leave space for that. So there has to be some trust and belief of right now I’m going to choose that I’m going to be done eating, and that would be okay.
Carter Umhau (16:50):
And with that, there should also be permission to get more food later. That’s part of that getting to be in the gray area of that there’s no start and finish to eating within a day. We’re always going to need to eat again. And so trust that whatever information you gather at this point will help you with the next decision.
Julie Church (17:12):
Yeah. Okay. So if you are in a place of desiring to eat more and you aren’t feeling satiated, my invitation is that if that’s a physical sensation that you’re feeling or an urge that’s more emotionally, give yourself a moment to acknowledge what you are wanting to do and then make the conscious decision to go and then get more food. And I would say go through the same loop of like, gosh, what is it? Am I still wanting? Am I wanting the texture? Am I wanting this other flavor? Or am I wanting to be filled up somehow emotionally? And recognize what you want to do in that moment with food and what other things you could do also to meet some of those needs and make sure that food is the way you want to meet that right now because food is a way to cope, but it is totally allowed.
(18:07):
And if it’s the only way we cope that then develops disordered eating. Absolutely. So in this moment that you’re the only one that can know, is this a moment where it’s totally a time to cope with food emotionally or maybe it’s not right, and it’s going to be the moment of going, I know I’m getting pulled to eat more right now, and I think I want to try one other thing before I choose food. So just know that. And for those of you that are maybe not in that emotional space and you just want to go get food, more food, you don’t feel satiated all means
Carter Umhau (18:47):
I want to state too around the emotional eating that this is a time in our world collectively where there’s a lot of unknown and a lot of anxiety to need. Comfort is normal right now, and I know that there’s a lot of pressure out there to sort of do wellness perfectly right now because we’re at home. I don’t know exactly why. That’s the belief that we should be able to do it perfectly suddenly, but this is not a time that you need to control or do anything perfectly. This is a time that your body and that your nervous system, like Julie mentioned, might need some calming, might need some extra care, might need some extra sweetness in your life. And if that is a serving of dessert right now or eating emotionally, that is okay. And again, note that there also could be other options too for caring for yourself, and that could be a place to explore, but know that food is available too.
Julie Church (19:48):
Yeah. Okay. So wherever you may be, I’m kind of assuming that you’re saying, okay, I’m done with this meal or snack, and now my encouragement is that you close it up like you finish this meal. And by having the routines that then make that meal have an end or that snack, have an end. Food is such an important part of our life, but it does need to be only one important area of our life. And that’s a quote from Ellen Satter’s, normal eating. Take those dishes or that wrapper and take care of it. Go rinse it, do your thing, rinse it, put it in the dishwasher, clean it up, put it in the drying rack, put the garbage in the garbage, compost what you need to compost, and then move on and do the next thing. Do the next thing. And that means mentally and emotionally and physically give yourself that, I would say encouragement. And two thumbs up, that you fed yourself, you met your needs, and now there are other aspects of you and your life that need tending to and allow for time and space for those other things until your next scheduled eating time, if that’s you, or until your body tells you it’s time to eat again.
Carter Umhau (21:08):
Are there specific practices of moving on that you might be able to offer? I know that a lot of people are really feeling stuck at home without a lot of their other identity markers available to them, whether that be going out and meeting a friend or being at work and actually being in the office and going to chat with someone or whatever it is. So what might be an effective idea on moving on?
Julie Church (21:36):
I do think the space considerations are something that just comes to my mind in this unique time. So for some of us, we do have a kitchen and then we have an office, but some of us we don’t, right? It’s a one room studio apartment that the kitchen and the eating nook is basically the same as the bathroom. So I think I, I want to name the differences of how to move on. So for some, it could be spatially that they could wrap up the kitchen, turn out the light. I even think of a place mat, even if the same surface you’re working on, eating on, drawing on for your hobbies, just a place mat. Maybe you put the place mat on when you eat, and then you move the place mat when you’re not eating something. Even as simple as that. And a place mat could honestly be a piece of cloth, right?
(22:26):
That you cut up an old T-shirt and you love that, but you’re making it into a cool thing. I dunno. I love that. I dunno. I mean that’s maybe a little bit of a stretch, but okay, maybe an old sweater, maybe more so, I dunno. Okay. Anyways, okay, so I guess that, and then moving on, I wonder about the before one leaves the space of eating that they have a bit of a plan. I think a lot of people might benefit from that. And I know when we do organized meal support, obviously within the context of treatment, it’s like, okay, and next group. And so just the schedules. I think everybody, there’s so many people talking about that within the COVID pandemic of like, yeah, all the homeschooling parents are doing the schedule for their kids, but don’t us adults also need a schedule too.
(23:18):
So I think recognize that maybe there is that some plan ahead or some intention of what’s next to then be able to move on. Because those that do struggle with the persistent eating disorder voice, I know that that voice is coming with you to work and to your next hobby and to the next thing. And so that my phrase of moving on, I know that it’s not as easy as I might be flippantly saying. So I believe that and I know that. I just also believe that we can do some things to allow more of our attention or more of our efforts to be focused on the next thing. Well, thank you for coming along with us in this meal and snack. I hope this gives an opportunity for some support virtually, and I just have to have the hope that we will all get to be together again. We will get to be able to have the support physically in person that we all need and crave and that we’ll be able to be out of this pandemic. But in the meantime, may our mind and heart be stretched to be able to lean into some of these kinds of unique new ways to find support.
Carter Umhau (24:40):
Make sure you’re subscribed to the podcast if you aren’t already, and you’ll be up to date on our current releases. We also love it when you guys leave reviews. This is a way for us to understand how you’re enjoying the podcast and it’s also a way for those interested in this kind of non diet material and mental health support to find us more easily. Thank you so much to Jackal Cultural Center for Sound Engineering to Aaron Davidson for the Appetite’s original music, and to Hans Anderson for editing. Join us next time. Bye.
